I don’t read the Scary Mommy blog for about 794 reasons. But I saw a link on Facebook from that site to a post titled, “9 Reasons I Regret Being a Stay at Home Mom.” I’m not going to dissect it point by point, but the post broke my heart. I don’t think being a stay at home mom is automatically better than being a working mom and I refuse to participate in the “mommy wars.” I just wanna spread the love, man. But one thing I take a huge exception to is point number 3, “my kids think I did nothing.”
I never planned on making public what I’m about to share. But I seriously believe the authors are underestimating their children. I don’t know what caused them to make that point and I’m not going to guess. If I had the chance, I would tell them that your children do know. And here’s how I know that . . . . .
In June, our son graduated from high school after 13 years of homeschooling. In the ceremony, each set of student/parents were up on stage individually. The students said a thank you to the parents and then the parents gave a tribute or blessing. (Can I just pause here and tell you that this ends up being a bawl-fest every single year? I’m teary eyed just thinking about it.) I’m going to share with you what our son had to say. This all came from him. I didn’t offer any talking points or help in any way. So here it is:
It’s really hard to sum up the last eighteen years of my life and the last eighteen years of work that both of you have done for me and my sister.
Mom, thank you for all the work you put in for my education, all the stuff you had to put together and all the planning you had to do every year. I fought you all the way, always letting you know how much I didn’t like school; you even threatened me more than once to put me in traditional school.
You were my alarm clock every day for the earlier school years and ever since I started using my own alarm you have been making me breakfast every day. Even before all that you would make our family dinner almost every night. I couldn’t imagine doing that every day.
Dad, thank you for all the work behind the scenes that you do for our family. While mom is home taking care of us, you’re taking care of our family in a completely different way by providing the money it takes to get me to where I am today and keeping others safe by keeping criminals off the streets.
And most of all you’ve been the best role model of what a man really is.
You guys are the best team of parents I could have ever asked for, from coming home late and wrecking a care you two have always been so forgiving and caring.
Through all that we have been through both of you have always kept Christ at the center of our lives, always keeping me pointed in the right direction and supporting me through everything and always being there when I needed you.
Thank you for everything, I love you guys.
See? They do see and know exactly how hard you work, how much you give your family and how much they are loved. Those three points can be achieved both in and out of the home, but please never think that by choosing to be a stay at home mom your kids think you do nothing.
There are pros and cons to any situation. I’m trying to reenter the workforce now and it isn’t easy. In fact, I’ve had 0% success while applying for about 40 jobs. But I don’t regret the years I was able to stay home with the kids. It was worth it all.