The Misadventures of Cheri

Mortifying my kids one swimsuit at a time

Marry Me

on August 3, 2008

5/3/08

I know someone who did. Sixteen years ago today Tyler asked me to marry him. I wish at the time I was into blogging (although the internet didn’t really exist) because I would have typed down every word he said, but alas . . . . . I only remember a few outtakes. And since I’ve never chronicled it anywhere, here goes.

I have always been a fan of public proposals. I love sharing in other people’s love. In college I saw one of my friends get proposed to while she and her boyfriend were acting in the play she was in. They were part of a background dancing scene (think royal ball) so if you didn’t know what to look for, you wouldn’t think anything was out of the normal. But he really did ask her to marry him. Just last night I was watching a rerun of “Everybody Loves Raymond” and Ray was saying if you ask someone to marry you on the jumbo-tron at a stadium she has to say yes or she’ll get beer thrown on her. I love both Raymond and jumbo-tron proposals.

Tyler and I had been talking about marriage for a little while and he knew of my public proposal dream. He had even had the talk with my parents. So I knew it had to be coming. We were attending a bible study and one night we went he was acting very strangely. He never stopped moving the entire time and actually tried to use my finger to pick his nose (I know Steve will appreciate this). He was all giggly and just a ball of nerves. After the study was over, the leader said, “Hey everyone, Tyler has something he wants to say.” The bible study leader’s wife was in the kitchen and he kept telling her to come out because she didn’t want to miss it. She was clueless and pretty much refused to leave the kitchen. Yeah, that was a pretty dysfunctional marriage . . . . . long, ugly story.

All of the sudden Tyler was standing up and had me stand up, too. All I remember was him saying he loved God and he loved me. At some point he asked me to marry him and I enthusiastically said, “Yes!” I remember looking over his shoulder and seeing his mom crying. Not sobbing, just the teary eyed thing. When it was over she welcomed me to the family.
Talk about being in la la land. It was as if my feet couldn’t touch the ground if I made them. Afterwards, we went to Red Robin with our Sunday school class from church (bible study and SS were two different groups). Since our class was a class for singles, the only one genuinely happy for us was the teacher . . . . . . and his wife – lol. The rest of the people were just miserable. But they tried to look happy. I’m pretty sure there were a couple of girls who were hoping Tyler and I were just a passing phase and he’d be back on the market soon. No WAY was I going to let that happen!

And just 3 1/2 short months later we were married. My parents and I were able to pull of a gigantic wedding and reception in that short amount of time. Don’t let anyone tell you you have to have tons of time to plan a wedding. I think long, drawn out wedding planning just adds to the stress of the situation. But I’ve only ever done it one way so take my advice with a grain of salt!!

I am very happy he proposed and even more happy that I said yes. It has been an interesting journey . . . . . . early marriage poverty, youthful ignorance (I had JUST turned 23 and Tyler was 22 when we married), and all that jazz. But one thing I will say, I think getting married so young was a good thing for us. When you’re poor you have to spend a lot of time together – lol. We did so much together that once the kids came along, we were just used to doing everything together. Tyler was a champion in the delivery room and ever since. We were used to being together and doing most everything as a team so kids didn’t cause as many shockwaves that they can.

I have a friend who’s getting married later this summer. She has a blog and I was reading it. Oh my, the optimism! They talk about everything, they have no secrets, they think alike on everything, they have similar backgrounds, they can finish each other’s sentences. Sounds just like me 16 years ago. I have since learned that marriage is not as easy as it seems it will be when you’re engaged. You will come to learn that your families are different . . . . if not downright crazy. Your backgrounds will be polar opposites, because the other one’s family is literally crazy. Talking about everything with your fiancee encompasses mostly good things. There will be pieces of your mind you’ll give your spouse that you never knew existed.

But we all live and learn, and by the grace of God, stay married. I’m overwhelmed by God’s grace in our marriage. And although I know he’ll never see it . . . . . . I love you, Tyler. I look forward to the rest of our lives together.

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