Why oh why do I worry so much? I was worried about the little leadership meeting I was going to tonight. Then I’m the first one there and NO ONE was there when we were supposed to meet. I had just taken my phone out of my purse to call Tyler and tell him to check my e-mail for a last minute cancellation and one lady walked in. Whew! I always worry that I was the only one who didn’t get some information.
Our church is starting a support group for wives of law enforcement. I had been worried about one – now dumb – thing. As I was leaving tonight I realized 100% of my worry was unfounded. But beyond that, I felt like I might be on the brink of something great in my life. Something I couldn’t have imagined but have yearned for for a very long time.
I have always wanted to work in women’s ministry. But for years – maybe even more than a decade – I feel like I’ve been stuck in children’s ministry. Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely adore teaching my 4th & 5th graders. But I’ve always felt like my main purpose would be to serve women. It’s not like you can just march into a church and say, “Okay, I’m here to do x, y, and z – you’d better use me! And use me the way I want to be used.” Well, I guess you can, but God’s timing is usually so much better.
Nothing has ever materialized in the area of women’s ministry. Heaven knows I’ve been to enough Bible studies, women’s teas, retreats, night outs, you name it. Over the years I’ve also wondered if I’d heard God right. If maybe my desires were getting in the way of His. For a brief time, Tyler and I led a small group of single adults at our church. I loved our little group, but things with the overall umbrella group got to be ridiculous and we finished out the year and then quit. I remember thinking, “Is this all there is? Was that as close as I’ll ever get?”
Tonight as I was walking out of Cafe D’Vine, it hit me. I’m officially in women’s ministry. And I just might be the one to be in charge of evangelism and discipleship for this group. Nothing at this moment could make me happier. Seriously? Is this finally it? I’m crying as I’m typing this because it’s seemed like so long. But not only is it women’s ministry, it’s specifically targeted to a group of women I have very strong emotional ties to – law enforcement wives. And guess what? All these years when I felt God whispering in my heart, this group didn’t exist. It didn’t exist until last month. His timing is always so impeccable. I’ve got to go sit and cry some more. I’m just so happy.