Tonight at dinner Amber jumped out of her seat and ran to the bathroom. She came back out with a kleenex and told Tyler, “Pull it out!” She had a loose tooth that whenever she bit down, it would hurt.
I couldn’t believe it. I would never, ever, in a million years ask anyone to pull anything out for any reason. It might hurt! Or worse, it could bleed. I’d happily put my dinner in a blender and drink it through a straw before I voluntarily lost a tooth.
I couldn’t even watch when Tyler was doing it. Thankfully they had the decency to go into the kitchen while I turned my head. This was right up Tyler’s alley. He loooooooves pulling the kid’s teeth out. He freaked out one of our neighbors once because she had a loose tooth. He was so excited to pull it out for her that it made her cry. The next time she had a loose tooth she asked me not to mention it to him.
And, as if to rub it in, Amber decided to sleep on the floor tonight. The floor with nothing under her but a pillow for her back. I fully expect to see her washin’ her face in a frying pan and combing her hair with a wagon wheel in the morinin’. She’ll probably die with a toothache in her heel.
So now there’s a tooth waiting to be whisked away and replaced with a dollar bill. If the Tooth Fairy remembers. Ol’ TF can really fall behind if you let her. She borders on pathetic and has forgotten the sacred duty in the past. In fact, tonight she has to root around in her husband’s wallet because heavens knows SHE doesn’t carry any cash on her at any time. For any reason. Ever. It would make life far too simple if she did.