The Misadventures of Cheri

Mortifying my kids one swimsuit at a time

The Sandwich Wars

on September 10, 2008

I am SO not a morning person. Especially on Wednesdays. That’s the day my homeschooled children have classes outside of home. Austin takes “MathGames,” guitar and art. Amber takes “MathGames,” choir and science. So instead of lollygagging around with my coffee and devotion time like every other morning, I’m getting kids in the shower, making lunches, etc. You know the routine. So the event that happened this morning made me decide that Tyler was going to get to pick the punishment.

Let me set the stage as it were . . . . . . last night after a day that was so busy it was ridiculous, I only had time to make sandwiches for dinner. My son is the pickiest eater on the planet. Even at almost 13. I have developed a “zero tolerance” policy on dinner. If I make it, you eat it. The only exception is if something is really spicy or strange. But last night it was neither. It was turkey and cheese sandwiches. Turkey and cheese sliced fresh in the grocery store, deli, I might add . . . . . with bread the kids love.

You will NEVER guess who was too full to eat dinner. Well, not too full to eat his peaches and Doritos, but way, way too full to eat his sandwich. I said he had to eat at least half because if he got no protein he’d be hungry after karate. He took one pathetic bite and said he’d eat it when he got home. I told him NO snacking until the sandwich was gone. He agreed.

Last night was busy, too. I was at an American Girl party with Amber so I wasn’t home when Austin got home from karate. We came home later, went to bed and that was that. Until this morning (sing the theme from Jaws to yourself).

I let the dog out when I got up and when I let her in, I realized she had drug something onto the porch. Something that was the exact shape of half a sandwich with ONE pathetic bite taken out of it. There are times I’m thankful for my 6 pound dog who doesn’t devour anything in site. I picked it up, showed it to Amber and told her I was going to tell Austin it was his breakfast. I even put it on a plate. He was in the shower and oblivious.

When he came downstairs I told him his breakfast was ready. He got all bright eyed as he came around the corner and looked on the table. Then he stopped dead in his tracks and gave a sad little “mmmmmm.” I said, “Doesn’t it look good?” He said, “How did you find it?” I told him I didn’t find it, the dog did. He said, “I didn’t think anyone would find it in the bushes.” I then informed him that his dad would decide how best to handle this when he got home from work tonight.

I did make him a real breakfast and every time I went to the pantry I had to gather myself so as not to let Austin see me laughing. After I dropped him off I called Tyler and we had a good laugh. JUST last night at the dinner table we actually had a great talk about anger and what the Bible says. We even read Bible verses!! I think I’m going to start calling Austin “Teflon” because I wonder if anything sticks.

He kept calling Belle “Devil Dog” this morning. I told him that sin, like that old sandwich, will always find you out. He said, “Especially when Belle’s around.”

Yep, Teflon it is.

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