The Misadventures of Cheri

Mortifying my kids one swimsuit at a time

I love Portland, Oregon!

on October 25, 2008

I really, really, really do! Yes, it’s one of the most uber-liberal cities in America. Yes, there’s a lot of traffic. Yes, there are old dirty parts. Yes, yes, yes. There are a lot of negatives to the city. But I still love it. And even though Nancy Pelosi and Al Gore were both in Portland today, I still love the place.

We took the kids to our favorite restaurant today, which happens to be in my most favorite of cities. It’s a Greek restaurant called, fittingly, Green Cusina. I know I’ve mentioned it before so I won’t bore you. The weather the past few days has been spectacular. As we drove along the Willamette river, it sparkled and shined. You just have to forget how polluted the darn thing is. Even Tyler commented on the beauty of the city in the early stages of fall.

We were having a wonderful lunch in the middle of downtown, next to a huge floor to ceiling window. And then it happened. Why I love this city so much. We got a show on the sidewalk. Two women were walking together and they were, well, how do I say this nicely? Uh . . . hmm . . . ug . . . oh!! They were probably 10% sober. One of them stops, making both of them come to a halt quite awkwardly. Apparently, there was a need for peanut butter Whoppers.

But, alas, with that much alcohol on board, things can go wrong so easily. And they did. The contents of the king sized Whopper box ended up on the sidewalk. No big deal at this point; I was just watching curiously. Well, these women must’ve been environmentalists, too, because they quickly decide that there should be NO peanut butter Whoppers on the sidewalk.

So they bend down, very slowly, and begin picking the Whoppers up. Again, no big deal. It was at this moment that the show began. They ended up putting the Whoppers back in the box. I was kind of giggling at this moment because their aim wasn’t exactly accurate. By this time, they’d made such an impression that our waiter and a busboy had to stop and watch.

Then one of the ladies started eating the Whoppers right off the ground. This sounds awful to be blogging about, but it was like a train wreck I couldn’t stop looking at. The waiter starts yelling, “Oh My G**! She just ate a Whopper off the ground!” He then runs to tell the host who nearly gagged. It was a circus inside and on the sidewalk.

The ladies managed to get back up, with all but one Whopper either being eaten or put back in the box and into a purse. But the show continued in the restaurant with our very animated wait staff.

So that’s one of the many reasons I love Portland. You never know what you’re going to get. It’s never, ever a boring place to be. And while I don’t think I could ever live there, I certainly love being 15 minutes away!

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