I have been really tired the past few days. Crazy tired. And yesterday was the worst. I got up and went in for my yearly exam. Always thrilling, isn’t it? I think my doctor could be a movie star had she not pursued medicine. I have never in my life seen someone so perfect and put together. I wanted to touch her hair and see if it was real. I’m sure it helps that her husband is the best plastic surgeon in the county, but he has a lovely palette to work with.
I came home and promptly canceled school. My body was sore from all the work I’d been doing, my arthritic knee was flaring up and I was tired. So I laid on the couch and snored so loudly I kept waking myself up (I snore when I’m really tired). This is riveting, isn’t it? Don’t worry, Grumpy makes her appearance very soon.
So after a very long and utterly boring evening, I went to bed around 9:00. Tyler, of course, was already in bed and here’s where the fun begins (insert a heavy dose of sarcasm in the preceding sentence). It takes me about 3 seconds to fall asleep and then the bed starts shaking. Tyler shakes the bed to wake me up when I’m snoring. Okay, okay he’s allowed to complain. But he KNEW how tired I was. So I fall back asleep and the bed shakes again.
I’m not so forgiving . . . . . starting now.
It keeps getting harder and harder to fall back asleep. It might have been the white hot fury of 1000 burning suns starting to course through my veins, I don’t know. I finally get back to sleep for the third time and the bed shakes again. There’s no other way to say it. I. Lost. It.
I yelled, “STOP!” He didn’t respond. I couldn’t fall back to sleep so I stared bawling. Think a middle eastern woman wailing at a funeral. At this point he wakes up and asks innocently what’s wrong. I yelled, “You won’t stop shaking the bed! I can’t get back to sleep.” He says, “Blah, blah, snoring, bluh . . .” I then proceed to hit him.
You heard me right.
A late night punch in the torso never hurt anyone. He is suddenly awake. He asks, “WHAT’S going on?” I got out of bed (‘cuz I’m really hot at this point) and scream, “I’m sorry I’m snoring. I’m tired. You can find somewhere else to sleep!!” This may or may not have been peppered with expletives. (ahem) Anyway, somehow we both manage to fall asleep without killing each other.
So today, I’m still tired and still really ticked off at him. He sent me a couple of e-mails from work and my replies were very short and grammatically incorrect. You know if I don’t bother to pull out my grammar nazi ways, something is definitely wrong.
He came home tonight and was way too perky and happy. He even brought me flowers. GOOD! He needed to make up for his awful behavior last night. So I gingerly brought up “the situation” from last night. He had no idea what I was talking about. He said he must’ve been shaking the bed in his sleep. He didn’t know I hit him. He thought the dog had gotten out of her kennel and was bouncing on the bed.
So all of that to say he’s clueless. And cute. And I’m not mad at him anymore.