The Misadventures of Cheri

Mortifying my kids one swimsuit at a time

A year

on May 3, 2009

We of the human realm mark things in years. Birthdays. Anniversaries. How long we’ve lived somewhere. There’s no term in common language for anything bigger until you get to decade. So we settle on years. It’s as if we get through four seasons of a year, we’ll better know what to expect in the next four seasons. A year.

It was a year ago this week that I got the news that would forever change life as I knew it. I was in Alaska visiting my sister-in-law and precious new nephew when my dad called and said, “They found a mass on your mom’s brain.” I still can’t think of that without tearing up.

What a year it’s been. If anything, it’s been a testament to God’s unending faithfulness. I have sought Him harder than at any other time in my life and I have found Him. In ways I never knew before. This blog was six months after mom’s initial diagnosis and in many ways, is still the answer when people ask how I’m doing.

Before this year, I would have thought my mom having terminal, stage 4 cancer would kill me. But if I step back and think about this last year, I see myself standing. Standing on a Rock. The Rock of my Savior. He has come in and He has healed my broken heart. Oh, I still get sad . . . . but I don’t get devastated. I get sad . . . . . but I don’t lose hope. I get weepy . . . . . . but I don’t get depressed.

The key for me this last year has been reading my Bible, being in an in-depth Bible study, praying and sitting back and letting Jesus do His work. In the words of Exodus 14:14, “The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” And He has fought for me. He’s fought for my sanity. He’s fought for my broken heart. He has fought when I wanted to lay in bed for a week. He’s fought for my roller-coaster emotions. He’s fought for my peace. He’s fought for my deliverance from unending sorrow. He has fought when I didn’t know what to tell the kids. He. Has. Fought.

And He’s won. I’m nothing less than a walking miracle. I know I’m nothing special on my own. After all, I know who I am. I know what I’ve got going on inside of me. I know how close I am to my mom. And He knows it, too. And He has taken care of me in ways that seem impossible. If people want to know if He’s real, just come ask me. There is no other way to explain how my heart has been healed.

So as I look out my window on this sunny day and anticipate a lovely afternoon visit with my parents, I’m so thankful. So stinking thankful.

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