The Misadventures of Cheri

Mortifying my kids one swimsuit at a time

Dog Drama from Years Past

on October 27, 2009


One would think with my recent ranting and raving that doggie drama is something new in my life. It isn’t. We have had more than our fair share of dog drama over the 11 years we’ve had dogs. And yeah, the beagle doo in my closet this morning wasn’t fun, but it was not the worst thing to ever happen as far as dogs are concerned. I’m pretty sure the following story IS.

It was 2003, Belle was still a cute puppy and Ginger the sainted pug was in one of her morbidly obese phases. That dog was like a hormonal woman. She could put on and then take off weight like I’ve never seen before or since. The local J. C. Penny’s photography studio was having a one day event where you could have your pet’s pictures taken . . . . either alone or with the family. I decided to have the dog’s pictures taken with the kids.

It’s important that you understand the following so here goes. In Anchorage, Penny’s has a parking garage and a skybridge that connects the two buildings. It had already been a fiasco getting a five and seven year old ready, but add two dogs to it and it bordered on insane. There was no WAY I was standing still long enough to wait for an elevator because if I stayed still for too long, the hyper chihuahua would jump out of the purse-type thing I was carrying her in.

We were walking down the stairs of the garage to get to the skybridge and Ginger wouldn’t move. Are you kidding me? Ginger was the best dog EVER. (Don’t tell me how great your dog is because there will never, ever be another dog that was as amazing as Ginger – at least in my mind). For her to not move and refuse to walk was akin to, well, something. I’m not sure as she had never done it before and never did it again.

After pulling on her leash and having Austin push her, she got the idea. Also know that in the skybridge there used to be a little coffee shack, minus the shack. As we pass the coffee sans-shack, Ginger quits walking again. I had really had it at this point and probably embarrassed myself in front of the barrista. I have no clue . . . . it starts to get hazy at this point. We walked through the door into Penny’s and about four steps in a very nice woman looks at us and gasps. I was accustomed to this (remember, I had small children and a son with no sense of privacy) and just kept walking. Then she looks at me in horror and says the words that will forever scar my memories:

“Ma’am, your dog is pooping on the floor.”

Deep sigh.

And after the deep sigh, sheer panic. Ginger was perfect! She never did things like this, ever. And I was in no way shape or form prepared to deal with it. So what do I do? First, I caught the chihuahua mid-air that had jumped from the sub-standard purse carrier. Second, I had Amber hold Belle (chihuahua) and Austin hold Ginger’s leash. I then darted back to the coffee sans-shack and grabbed some napkins. I picked up the reminders that I will never be classy and sophisticated and breathed a sigh of relief.

Yet there remained a problem.

What to do with it?

I did the only thing I could. I went back to the coffe sans-shack and tried to discreetly throw it in the kinda full garbage. That didn’t have a lid. That was really close to the barrista.

I can’t begin to tell you how awful I felt. The poor girl. She didn’t deserve to have to smell my lack of classiness and sophistication all day! The shame. The guilt.

The picture session actually went well. I think it was the last time in Belle’s life that she was compliant, thus setting me up for years of disappointment in her. And how did I handle my shame and guilt towards the little barrista? When we left, we didn’t use the skybridge. Who KNOWS what could have happened??

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