The Misadventures of Cheri

Mortifying my kids one swimsuit at a time

Apparently the beagle has a weight problem

on December 3, 2009

The dog who moves so fast that not even my super cool Canon Rebel Xsi can make her appear unblurry, is fat.  Not obese, the vet assured me, but just overweight.  Wow.  Who would have thought that a dog who shows absolutely no self control in any area of her life would restrain herself and not eat as much as a lumberjack?  Me, that’s who.  I’m a regular genius.

I have never owned a dog that you have to keep on a feeding schedule.  The most Belle has ever weighed is 6 pounds 8 ounces.  And the least she has weighed as an adult is 6 pounds, 6 ounces.  We have always just loaded up the dog food dish when it’s empty.  Apparently this backfired with the beagle.

I didn’t think she was fat.  I just thought she was filling in nicely.  She’s only 16 months old and I thought she was still roly-poly from baby fat.  Don’t I sound like some delusional mother who thinks their 10 year old still has baby fat?  But in my defense, in the grand scheme of things my dogs aren’t exactly top on my priority list.

Our vet is wonderful and didn’t suggest putting her on diet food.  He said it’s mostly fiber and doesn’t really solve the problem.  He told me sometimes food allergies will trigger overeating (huh?) and to eliminate certain things from her diet.  I told her I had already eliminated processed beef, wheat and corn.  He was impressed.  I was not because knowing that these three ingredients are tough on dogs means only one thing.  I have high maintenence dogs.  Not the digestive system of iron types who can eat Ol’ Roy or Dog Chow.

He said the best thing to do is regulate her food intake. Great. So that means I have to remember to feed them in the morning and the evening.  And I only give them a certain amount of time to eat.  What’s the certain amount of time?  It’s the exact amount of time it takes me to remember to shove the beagle away from the bowl of food she’s stationed herself at like a linebacker protecting the quarterback.  I swear she squats to lower her center of gravity.

She seems to be losing weight – she actually has some definition now and doesn’t look like a walking tree stump.  So while she’s looking better, she is now spending more and more time at my feet in the kitchen.  Which again, is a total BLAST for me.  I get a real kick out of constantly tripping over her.  And heaven forbid I drop anything on the floor . . . . it’s a death cage smackdown between her and the chihuahua.  Which is really, really fun.

Tyler said when these two move on, we’re not replacing them.  And by “these two” I’m assuming he means the kids and not the dogs.  Because I think we’d lose touch with reality if we lived a dog free life.  You’ve got to have something to ground you.

And if cleaning dead varmint remains off the beagle after she’s rolled in them doesn’t keep you grounded, nothing will.


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