The Misadventures of Cheri

Mortifying my kids one swimsuit at a time

Big Idiot

on April 3, 2010

Yes, the NaBloPoMo insanity continues.  And I still haven’t run out big of ideas!!

The afore mentioned big idiot would be yours truly.  Shocking, isn’t it?  But this certainly goes down as one of my most embarrassing moments ever.  I will try to make it as short as possible.  I wish I could change the names to protect the terminally stupid innocent, but I already spilled the beans that it was me.

This past Wednesday, Tyler and I went to pick Austin up from an Easter party.  I thought Tyler and I should go in . . . . Tyler didn’t know the parents and it was nice that we all got to meet.  There were a few adults there sitting in chairs or on couches .  I walked around the adults, chatted a bit and noticed that one lady was particularly giggly.  But that was that; we said our goodbyes and headed home.

When we got home, Amber was watching the 2009 remake of “Ice Castles.”  So I did what any good mom would do and started annoying her by pretending I was ice skating.  I am good at ice skating in my socks on Pergo.  To bring the routine to a dramatic end, I raised my hands over my head and prepared myself for an awe-inspiring spin.  Before I could get some good momentum going, Amber screamed, “OH GROSS!!”  I asked her what was going on and she pointed and said, “Your. pants.”  {She might have shivered}

I looked and felt down there and realized my fly was gaping open.  Why was it able to gape open at such shocking proportions?  Because my button was undone and only my belt was holding my pants up.

At this point I only have one question.

WHAT KIND OF AN IDIOT BUCKLES HER PANTS AND DOES NOTHING ELSE????

You know what’s even worse?  I was wearing this underwear I have that is shockingly and almost appallingly the exact same shade as my skin.  I’m not talking close, I’m talking dead on.  The lengths to which my fly was spread open should probably have been recorded for the Guinness Book of World Records.

I immediately go into a panic and try to wrack my brain to see if I used the facilities before we went to pick up Austin or since we’d been home.  Tyler and Amber were laughing so hard it beckoned Austin from upstairs.  I told him the horrible thing that I had discovered and he said, “Mom, I saw it at their house and I was trying to find a way to tell you.”  Then he just got this awful, pained look on his face.  ‘Cuz after all, there was this girl there . . . .

Then it dawned on my why lady-in-the-chair-who-I-stood-right-in-front-of was so giggly.  But I’m not going to type it.  It’s too painful.  You’re smart people.  You can put two and two together.

Advertisements

4 responses to “Big Idiot

  1. Dawn says:

    THAT is hilarious, Cheri! I laughed just picturing the situation in my mind…it is SOOO something that would happen to me…all the way to the ice skating in my house. 🙂 Nicely done, I give you a 10!!!!

  2. Love the new blog Cheri!

  3. Harriet says:

    Well, Cheri…. I see nothing has changed in your life!!! Thanks for the entertainment.

  4. Deana says:

    Cheri,

    Kristi told me about your blog and I have read a bit today. Hilarious! I needed a good laugh. Thanks for providing thoughtful insights with comedy. Good job!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: