The Misadventures of Cheri

Mortifying my kids one swimsuit at a time

Big Glamor

on April 7, 2010

I. cannot. believe. I’m. doing. this.

But first . . . one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever gotten was to NOT get Glamor Shots done.  What did I do?  The instant some second-rate version of Glamor Shots temporarily set up in an abandoned mall space in Anchorage, Alaska in 1993, I ran down there immediately to get myself glamorized and immortalized on film.  So for all you Works for Me Wednesday people, take my advice and don’t get your Glamor Shots taken.

Why am I posting this?  It’s not for NaBloPoMo.  It’s certainly not because I think it’s cute.  And it’s not because I’m a proud woman.  I’m doing it for my tens of readers (who happen to be my friends on Facebook).  They demanded I post the recently unearthed Glamor Shots from the early 1990’s.  I’m doing it because I love them.  Either that or I have lost all dignity.  I’m just praying that no one in our church’s a/v department is nursing a grudge against me.

So without further adieu, let the humiliation-fest begin.

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“The Hat”

Or maybe it should be called “The Earring” or “The Eye” or “The Hand” or “The Hump on The Back of My Neck That Doesn’t Exist in Real Life.” The photographer must have been a genius to just get one of everything in the picture.

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“No Really, My Eyes Are the Same Size in Real Life”

And yes, by all means, if you already have a purple wrappy thing, purple gloves, and a huge rhinestone necklace and earring set, you aren’t overdone at ALL!  You need the tulle to finish it off in a classy, polished way.

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“Blingy”

And nothing adds class to the blingy jacket like a white tag in the back.  Nothing.  And my cadaver-like hand next to my made up face?  Priceless.  Yes folks, this was before I started waxing my eyebrows.

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“I”m Sorry, I Can’t Hear You Over My Eyebrows”

That, my friends, is the shade of neon white skin only Alaska can bring you.  My head also appears to be a bit disembodied.

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“SEE!  I Don’t Have A Neck Hump!”

This must’ve been later in the shoot because my hair looks like it’s in full on bird nest mode.

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“Nice Bangs”

That’s it.  I hope you’re all happy.  This certainly keeps me humble.

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17 responses to “Big Glamor

  1. Kathleen says:

    I did this, thinking that I’d get great professional shots for using as a professional musician. Rrrrriiiight. 🙂

    You have my sympathies. LOL

  2. Eva Holeman says:

    You still look gorgeous!

  3. Debbie says:

    Know why I’m laughing? Because your comments are so right on!!! Thankfully I avoided the whole glamour shots mess – but you’re not the only victim – you’re the only BRAVE victim – and you stand for thousands, if not millions, of women who – like you – fell for the sultry call of tulle and gloves… sigh

  4. Rachelle says:

    CHERI! I adore these pictures! I adore you for posting them! Your captions made the experience unforgettable. As a photographer, I will aspire to capture the “one of everything” shot at my next photo shoot.

  5. ML Olson says:

    They ar beautiful…of course my fav is the one with the hat. Tyler is right….you look Hott!

  6. mom2fur says:

    Well, you have to put in the perspective of the time the photos were taken. You really have that late 80s, early 90s vibe going.
    But, frankly, I think you are beautiful in all the shots! The extras might not be necessary, but my eyes went to your face and lovely features…so don’t worry about that hat, LOL!

  7. Tyler the husband says:

    So, where are the “W” rated ones….you know, “W”…almost “X” ?

  8. becc says:

    I love it, Cheri! you are a beautiful lady but your captions make the blog too hilarious. 🙂 I have glamour shots from 93 as well; I’ll have to dig them out. of course if I was at my mom’s house I could just take a snapshot of the poster-sized print that she has…that embarasses me every time I see it…

  9. Sherry says:

    You still look great! Love your funny comments!

  10. Cheryl Hull says:

    Cheri, Beautiful photos! And you look sooooo much like your wonderful mother!

  11. kendra says:

    I think I just peed my pants.

  12. Sue says:

    LOL! Love this post. 🙂

  13. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Whatisitnow. Whatisitnow said: Posted my Glamor Shots from 1993 – there's even a humpback one. https://whatisitnow1.wordpress.com/2010/04/07/big-glamor/ […]

  14. Mrs. Wright says:

    Bwahaha! My mother in law has those same scary Glamour Shots that were probably taken in the SAME year at the same creepy Glamour Shots in Anchorage. Do you still like in AK? I’m in Wasilla!

  15. Jenny says:

    I hate to laugh, but how can I not? I remember when my cousin, aunt and Memaw did Glamour Shots, all of them looked like hookers! ROTF!

  16. That was Then says:

    Cheri, you never looked as cheesy as any of those pics! You’ve always been adorable. It is nice that we all discovered that we don’t have to wear the eybrows we were born with… gotta love the 80’s fashions too!

  17. Gena says:

    THAT is totally funny. 🙂

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