The Misadventures of Cheri

Mortifying my kids one swimsuit at a time

The Most Confusing Part of Life Is…

on July 9, 2010

I think I'll take a step back and refer to "life" as a universal concept and not one applied to my life.

The most confusing thing to me is how people can help someone over and over and over and get the same disappointing result, yet never quit helping. Generally this form of "helping" is really enabling. I just don't understand why, when the same approach hasn't worked ever, the enabler keeps on keepin' on.

Usually in the enabler's life, the target has never responded well to the help. Oh, the target says they're thankful, say they'll change but nothing ever changes. In fact, it usually tends to get worse.

I guess I just don't understand why the enabler can't see that their help isn't helping. Or why the enabler is so desperate to not let the target suffer the natural consequences of their chosen, foolish behavior.

I'm not talking about people who genuinely need help because circumstances beyond their control have put them into a situation of helplessness. I think we all know the difference between that person and the person who lives a selfish life and "finds" themselves needing help on a constant basis.

And they're all too good at finding the enablers to help them along in this foolish journey.

So yeah, why enablers don't wake up after repeated failures honestly confuses me.

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One response to “The Most Confusing Part of Life Is…

  1. Bev says:

    Because the enablers also get something from the exchange – though they are likely as oblivious as the ‘needy’. Feeling like a good person because you have once again rescued the helpless from their crisis – some folks feed on the drama or feel useless unless they are ‘helping’ someone.

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