The Misadventures of Cheri

Mortifying my kids one swimsuit at a time

All My Life III

on October 7, 2010

Rabbits on meth.

Oranges growing on the snow cap.

They pale in comparison to the last of my “All My Life” installments.

I’ve taken my time posting this one because . . . well . . .you’ll see.

My husband can’t believe I’m admitting this publicly.

So here goes.  One sentence.  Just rip it off all at once like a Band-Aid.

Okay.  Maybe two sentences.

Oooh!  I just figured out how to condense it into one sentence.

So here goes.

Until my junior year in high school, I thought if I tried hard enough, I could milk my cat.

This confession does not make me feel better.

At all.

Confession was not good for the soul this time.

At all.

And, as usual, I found out the truth in the most embarrassing way.  I had to open my mouth in front of my pastor’s wife.  Who laughed and wheezed and managed to squeak out, “I’m just imagining the little bottle you’d put the milk in.  And how tiny it would be in the refrigerator.

Of course my family still laughs about it and reminds me at least once a year.

Fast forward a decade or so and I see this scene in “Meet the Parents.”


At least I knew at least one person out there might have struggled with the same ideas.

It gave me about an ounce of comfort.


One response to “All My Life III

  1. Debbie says:

    FOCKER! I have to say that you can’t be alone in this. I will have to think of a confession of my own to admit to… That takes a lot of courage. Thanks for being so vulnerable. And making me laugh until the orange juice sprays out my nose…

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