The Misadventures of Cheri

Mortifying my kids one swimsuit at a time

Cabela’s-topia

on July 7, 2011

We headed north last week and our way home, I surprised the family with a “mystery destination” dinner.  It was Cabela’s in Lacey, WA.  They have a deli-style restaurant that serves some strange things.  Wild boar sandwiches, elk burgers, bison hot dogs, ostrich sandwiches . . . . you get the idea.  Since my husband is the hunter, gatherer, fishing, camping type, I knew the store would be a hit with him.  And it was, we were there for over two hours.  At one point in the middle of all the guns I think I yelled out, “This place is great!  It’s all about the killin’!”  {I might have been in there a little too long.}

I knew the place was huge, but I was unprepared for the tons of things I never even knew existed.  Here are just a few:

It’s a cot.  It’s a tent.  It’s a tent cot!  If you think for one minute I could stand sleeping in this thing with Tyler, you really don’t know me.   Thankfully, we don’t camp anywhere that requires us to be completely entombed screened in for our health.

A BUNK BED COT!  This thrilled me on so many levels.  I don’t know why.  Our tent is so gigantic that the kids don’t need to double up in order to save room.  And I lifted the end of this and it easily weighs 187 pounds.  And it costs a small fortune.  There was simply no reason for me to like this, but it left its mark on my heart.  I have no idea why.

Austin saw this lovely little bedding ensemble and said, “Mom!  This has Sarah Palin written all over it.”  He cracks me up.

Oh I want this.  I want this bad.  How in the world I would ever transport it to our campsite is beyond me.  I know it collapses and fits into a “nice little bag,” however they’re lying and the bag isn’t actually little.  But mama likey.

A meat smoker for $1300?  They exist?  How crazy about smoked meat do you have to be to buy one of these?  I have a smoker I got from my dad (for free!) and I’ve used it exactly once.  Tyler has some great ideas for smoking sturgeon and goose breast.  I told him to knock himself out.  I need a good year in between smoking sessions in order to maintain my sanity.

Again, something I never knew existed.  Growing up in Alaska, everyone I knew who needed to do this used a branch on a tree.  Or worse (and actually happened in my house), the game hung off the track your garage door wheels go up and down in.  Classy!  The visual aide at our store was an empty deer sized (un)stuffed animal hanging upside down.  Um, yeah.

I’m not going to post a picture of all the cast iron cookware.  I knew cast iron cookware existed.  I can’t post the pictures because I have such a love affair with cast iron that I’ll want to buy everything Cabela’s offers.  I did manage to buy a tiny cast iron skillet that is actually a spoon rest.  I will never need another spoon rest as long as I live.  It’s the little things.

Okay, and now for the most ridiculous thing I saw all day.  Even more ridiculous than the camo recliners.  More ridiculous than the $3500 rifle.   More ridiculous than the camo denim jeans.

There really isn’t anything left to add, is there?

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