The Misadventures of Cheri

Mortifying my kids one swimsuit at a time

He’ll be comin’ ’round the mountain when he comes . . . .

on July 10, 2011

My boy is returning.  Everyone said he would.  I had partially given up hope, but this morning everything changed.

Around 11, Austin turned into your typical pre-teen moody boy.  He didn’t want much to do with me, I got mostly grunts in place of “I love you’s,” and did I mention he didn’t want to have much to do with me?  It was HARD.  One time he hurt my feelings so badly at a church event . . let’s just say I was glad it was outside and I had sunglasses on!  But that was early on in the pubescent process and I grew a thick skin quick.

Thankfully, I had been warned this was going to happen.  By friends with older sons, by books (thank you, Dr. Dobson!!) and even by Tyler.  So I just white knuckled it and held on for the ride.

He’s 15 1/2 now and is mellowing considerably.  We’ve never really had any major problems with him – just attitude stuff here and there.  And even that’s getting better.  So much so that Amber commented out of the blue that Austin isn’t annoying her as much as he used to.  When she said that, I realized there hadn’t been as much bickering as usual.

Anyway, today was a huge step in the right direction for this mom.  Austin left for camp for a week today.  I told him to give me a hug so I wouldn’t have to embarrass him at church.  He hugged me back!  He let me hug him for longer than the usual hug!  The only thing he said was, “Mom, you’re breath.”  {In his defense, it was 6:40 a.m. and I was in my ungroomed glory.}  I couldn’t believe it.

THEN he pulled out the big guns.  After we got him checked in, I grabbed his arm and told him to have a good time.  I tacked on an, “I love you!”  In front of his friends and a leader he thinks is really cool, he said, “I love you, too, Mom.”  OH MY STINKIN’ HECK!  I haven’t heard those words leave his mouth voluntarily in years.  I had almost forgotten what they sounded like without me saying, “Tell your mother you love her,” first.

I was so in shock that I had to run over and tell one of my friends what happened.  She has a son who’s a bit older than Austin.  She has always assured me that boys come back around and I was so happy to tell her she was right.

So for all of you out there with moody boys, it gets better.  My advice?  Have a sense of humor about the whole thing.  And it certainly helps not to take things too personally.  It’s hard, but you have to separate your sense of self-worth from the way your child behaves.  If you’re looking to your children to validate who you are, you’re eventually going to get let down.  Remember that you’re doing the best you can and your children make their own decisions.  And that can stink!

Hang in there mamas!  We can do it!!

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One response to “He’ll be comin’ ’round the mountain when he comes . . . .

  1. Cheri – I found your blog through my daughter – The Queen Mommy. This is the first post of yours that I read and I thoroughly enjoyed it! Yep…hang in there…those ‘kisses from heaven’ from our teen sons may be sparse, but they’re good enough to tide us over til the next one huh? You’re an awesome mama – I can tell. =)

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