The Misadventures of Cheri

Mortifying my kids one swimsuit at a time

Letter to my 13-year-old self

on October 5, 2011

Dear 13-year-old Cheri,

First off, I’m very sorry about the acne.  It’s going to get worse before it gets better.  In college you will finally start taking Accutane and it will disappear forever.

I know exactly which boy you’re pining over right now.  Stop it.  Because in 9 years when his mother tries desperately to get you two together, you will foolishly run to Nordstrom and buy a lovely turtleneck and sweater ensemble.  You will show up at his mother’s house unable to breathe.  She will come to the door and tell you that he knew you were coming over, wanted to see you (don’t listen to her) but instead chose to go to a kickboxing match with his friends.  Kickboxing.  You will see him a few years later with his wife and thank God he chose kickboxing over you that fateful night.  Then you’ll glance at your husband and be all giggly about it.

Boys in general.  You will pine over many and none of them are worth it.  There will be one worth pining over, but guess what?  He won’t make you pine.  He’ll do very strange things like call when he tells you he will, he won’t play head games, he won’t lead you on only to start dating your roommate, he won’t make you feel like you’re babysitting him on dates.  He will be the one and he will be entirely worth the wait.  Ignore all the rest.

Get involved with choir in high school and study music in college, please??  Don’t listen to people who tell you you’ll never make any money with a music degree.  Because at this point in your life, you’re not making any money anyway.  You have a musical gift . . . . nurture and enjoy it.

Hoop skirt at prom so big that you have to walk up the stairs alone?  Don’t do it.

Also, just calm down.  About everything.  And I mean everything.

Yes, he is gay.

Yes, that one is a criminal.

Yes, this one over there doesn’t know you exist.

After you break up with a boy do not think you deserve an explanation when he doesn’t answer his phone.  And for the love of all that’s holy, do NOT call his work with a quivery voice asking where he is.

See why I told you to stop it with the boys?  You don’t have a very good history here.  But thankfully you won’t do anything too stupid that will impact your life permanently.

Your wedding will rock.

When tempted to put the $500 non-refundable deposit on an apartment your husband hasn’t seen, don’t do it. No matter how angry he gets, the money ain’t coming back home.

When you’re 42 you will realize all the garbage you went through (most of it created by yourself) will all be worth it.  So just hang in there.


Chronologically Advanced Cheri





2 responses to “Letter to my 13-year-old self

  1. Laurie says:

    Great letter. We should all have one!

  2. Dea says:

    oh my word! i love this letter. I should have written one to myself to myself for reference all thoser years ago. Would have saved me some heartache I suppose..

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