The Misadventures of Cheri

Mortifying my kids one swimsuit at a time


on July 20, 2012

Currently the following things are happening . . . .

My laptop (aka My Precious) is dead.  It is the fault of the power cord which shall be replaced post-haste.  Post haste = Tyler ordered one off Ebay and it should be here in a couple of months.  I miss My Precious so.

I can’t post any pictures even if I wanted to because I keep them all on My Precious.  Oh wait!  I have 7 or 8 pictures on this computer, the following being my favorite:


Bwahahahaha.  It cracks me up every time.

Currently I am trying to be cool on Instagram.  My daughter has informed me that I have the most boring Instagram ever.  Case in point, I posted pictures of baby tomatoes that have just begun to grow.  She might be right, but see for yourself!  I’m KeliKana.

My beagle brought a slug into the house.  It is now inching its way across the kitchen floor and she’s watching it.  Oh, nevermind, the man-child flushed it down the toilet for me.

Speaking of the man-child, he is hanging upside down off the couch and texting.  And telling me the house looks strange upside down.

Also speaking of the man-child, we are locked in a fashion battle.  We’re getting family portraits taken in August when we’re in California.  He told me that I can’t make us wear matching clothes because we’ll look stupid.  We need to look like ourselves only better, not stupid.  I show him all the lovely family beach portraits on Pinterest with matching outfits and he accuses me of “just wanting to look like everyone else.”  I should threaten to wear only my swimsuit.  That might send him into so much shock that he’ll just go along with whatever I pick out.  (My blog’s tagline, “Mortifying my kids one swimsuit at a time” is very accurate.)

The daughter is avoiding the man-child because he’s trying to get her to get him something to eat.

Currently I don’t want to kill the beagle.  This is a major development.  The shock collar, uh, I mean training collar, worked after only three “training nudges.”  She is a changed dog.

The chihuahua has decided the beagle isn’t barking enough so she’ll make up the difference.

I just can’t win.

Currently I am tan.  Tyler and I spent almost a week in Sunriver and the weather was amazing.  I rarely tan and I am so excited.

I bought a bike.  Today I rode it under stupid conditions and got mad.  Mostly at myself.  Then I spilled Tyler’s 5,000 piece wrench and socket set.  Okay, it’s probably less than 5,000 pieces, but putting all the itty bitty things back in their itty bitty spaces was a nightmare.

We got the bike off of Craigslist and then took it to a cycle shop to get it tuned up.  Everyone who works in the cycle shop is hopelessly awesome and cool and hip.  They’re nice and probably all professional bikers.  I was already starting to feel completely a little inadequate when one of the employees pointed out that whoever put my bike together got the front fender on backwards.  I. wanted. to. die.  The FIRST thing he said to me when I picked it up was, “Yeah, we turned that fender around.”  Cue the dying all over again.

Currently I am falling asleep at the keyboard.  Time for dreamland . . . after a bit of Anne Lamott’s “Some Assembly Required.”  It should be required reading for anyone whose children are going to grow up some day.   Her perspective is simply amazing.



2 responses to “Currently

  1. Michelle says:

    You MUST have a hidden camera running if you decide to do the swimsuit idea to make your son cooperate with your picture clothing plans!!!!! That made me laugh so loudly, Seth asked me what was so funny!

  2. […] everything I could think of or research (that wasn’t voodoo juju!) to get rid of them.  As I posted earlier, I read Anne Lamott’s “Some Assembly Required.”  In it she tells one of her […]

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