The Misadventures of Cheri

Mortifying my kids one swimsuit at a time

Dear Me

I originally wrote this post almost a year ago.  Emily at Chatting at the Sky encouraged us to write letters to ourselves and then link up to her blog today.  So here it is again.  And if you haven’t read her first book, Grace for the Good Girl, drop everything and buy it today.  I’m not kidding.  It changed this good girl’s life!  She just released Graceful {for young women}.  Buy it for any young woman in your life.

Dear 13-year-old Cheri,

First off, I’m very sorry about the acne.  It’s going to get worse before it gets better.  In college you will finally start taking Accutane and it will disappear forever.

I know exactly which boy you’re pining over right now.  Stop it.  Because in 9 years when his mother tries desperately to get you two together, you will foolishly run to Nordstrom and buy a lovely turtleneck and sweater ensemble.  You will show up at his mother’s house unable to breathe.  She will come to the door and tell you that he knew you were coming over, wanted to see you (don’t listen to her) but instead chose to go to a kickboxing match with his friends.  Kickboxing.  You will see him a few years later with his wife and thank God he chose kickboxing over you that fateful night.  Then you’ll glance at your husband and be all giggly about it.

Boys in general.  You will pine over many and none of them are worth it.  There will be one worth pining over, but guess what?  He won’t make you pine.  He’ll do very strange things like call when he tells you he will, he won’t play head games, he won’t lead you on only to start dating your roommate, he won’t make you feel like you’re babysitting him on dates.  He will be the one and he will be entirely worth the wait.  Ignore all the rest.

Get involved with choir in high school and study music in college, please??  Don’t listen to people who tell you you’ll never make any money with a music degree.  Because at this point in your life, you’re not making any money anyway.  You have a musical gift . . . . nurture and enjoy it.

Hoop skirt at prom so big that you have to walk up the stairs alone?  Don’t do it.

Also, just calm down.  About everything.  And I mean everything.

Yes, he is gay.

Yes, that one is a criminal.

Yes, this one over there doesn’t know you exist.

After you break up with a boy do not think you deserve an explanation when he doesn’t answer his phone.  And for the love of all that’s holy, do NOT call his work with a quivery voice asking where he is.

See why I told you to stop it with the boys?  You don’t have a very good history here.  But thankfully you won’t do anything too stupid that will impact your life permanently.

Your wedding will rock.

When tempted to put the $500 non-refundable deposit on an apartment your husband hasn’t seen, don’t do it. No matter how angry he gets, the money ain’t coming back home.

When you’re 42 you will realize all the garbage you went through (most of it created by yourself) will all be worth it.  So just hang in there.

Love,

Chronologically Advanced Cheri

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An open letter to homeschool parents

I want you to be encouraged, so here goes.

Do not ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER buy into the horse hooey that your children won’t be “well socialized” by staying at home for school.  Today the socialization issue came full circle for me.  I’ll explain after I give a little background.

I have homeschooled both of my children since kindergarten.  My daughter is in 9th grade this year and going to public school.  The reasons are many but it mostly boils down to us letting the kids decide what they want to do for high school (yes, I realize I just lost some of you there, but hang on).  Obviously if we saw major character or academic concerns, we would be more likely to tell them what to do, but so far so good.  Our son is a junior this year and still homeschooled.  He takes two credits in pre-engineering science at a local skills center, but everything else is at home.

All that to say that over the years I’ve heard many times about how I needed to make sure to properly socialize the children.  Of course this never came from fellow homeschool parents.  It usually came from people who were either somewhat or completely against homeschooling.  They also didn’t know how we operated as a homeschool family.  Keeping my kids from society has never been one of our goals.  The kids have always been very involved in church, sports, homeschool co-ops, and too many other social situations.

Today our daughter started ninth grade in public school.  She already had a group of friends because she goes to church with some girls from her new school.  She also met some of their friends and quickly became friends with them.  She also talked to a girl on her bus and talked to other people with whom she had more than one class with.  She came home absolutely glowing, talking pretty much non-stop about her new friends and everyone she met.

Hello?  Socialization WIN.

Our son had his first day at the skills center today as well.  He came home telling me how he talked to his teacher, found a couple of other guys who like the crazy Christian metal music he likes, the things they talked about during the “get to know you” session and his conversation with an administrator.

Hello?  Socialization WIN.

Seriously homeschool parents, your kids are going to be fine.  I never would have believed it years ago as I was slogging through basic math facts and kids who seemed to cry at the drop of a hat.  I never would have believed all would be well when my daughter was so shy she never did speak to my best friend before we moved, a month before her 6th birthday.  I never would have believed it when my son seemed to lack even the social graces of a wild boar.

Guess what?  They grew up. They were well socialized and aren’t socially backwards or strange.

Hang in there!  You can rock the homeschool years, even if you feel like you can’t!!

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ABC’s

I saw this on another blog and thought I’d do it, too!!

A. Age: 43

B. Bed size: King.  How Tyler and I survived before we had one is beyond me.

C. Chore that you hate: Mopping

D. Dogs: Ugh.  Do I really need to relive anything here?  Recently I got to get a urine sample from the beagle who ended up with a bladder infection.  And I held the chihuahua so Amber could put a bandage on one of her hot spots.  Both were not awesome.

E. Essential start to your day: Coffee.  Sometimes I get excited to go to bed because I know when I wake up I get coffee.  So lame yet so true.

F. Favorite color: Pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink, pink.

G. Gold or Silver: Actually white gold.  It’s the only thing that doesn’t cause a nasty skin reaction.

H. Height: 5’5.5″

I. Instruments you play: Currently?  None.  I can poke around on a piano but that’s it.

J. Job title: Wonder Woman

K. Kids: Two

L. Live: In the bottom left hand corner of Washington state.

M. Mother’s name: Connie.  I miss her.

N. Nicknames: None, really.  Cheri-Beri, but that’s mostly what I call myself online.

O. Overnight hospital stays: Three.  Two c-sections and a gallbladder removal.

P. Pet peeves: The crazy, repetitive noises my son has made since he figured out how to make crazy, repetitive noises.

Q. Quote from a movie: You stink. You smell like beef and cheese! You don’t smell like Santa.

R. Right or left handed: Right

S. Siblings: One younger brother.

T. Time it takes you to get ready: Uhhh, no makeup?  Less than 30 minutes.  Makeup?  Over 30 minutes.  Having naturally curly hair really helps in this department.

U. Ultimate Vacation: Anywhere with white sand and turquoise water.

V. Vegetable you hate: Beets.  Like gag me with a spoon.

W. What makes you run late: My brain malfunctioning.  I was 25 minutes late to my last eye doctor appointment because my brain literally malfunctioned.  THEN I read the letters on the chart starting with the right side and in the wrong order.  I felt like such a loser that day.

X. X-Rays you’ve had: Too many to count.  I’m accident prone to say the least.

Y. Yummy food that you make: Smashed potatoes, banana oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and a bunch of other stuff.  I love to cook.

Z. Zoo animal: Just please keep me away from the bats (they look like my chihuahua) and the naked mole rats.  I can handle anything else.

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