The Misadventures of Cheri

Mortifying my kids one swimsuit at a time

YFMWNOEWL 2010 Edition

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s been awhile.  Let’s just keep it simple and say the first holidays without my mother were horrible.  I spent most of the time trying to keep myself from having a breakdown.  But, it’s over, I’m feeling great and I’m lovin’ January.  And the last thing she’d ever want me to do is sit around feeling bad. 

And even though I haven’t been blogging for a month the 10’s of readers I have attracted keep looking at my site.  How sweet of you.  And the Googlers keep Googling away and giving me some pretty interesting material.  So without further adieu . . . . . .

sheri+i+dont+think+my+husband+will+find+anything+he+thinks+i+dumb about
Really?  You think you’re so superior to him?  “i+dumb about” doesn’t sound the least bit off to you??  Okay, sweetie, you really ARE all that.

Are not something you should be coming to me to find information out about.

blue tarp white trash
I agree, the camo tarp is really the only choice to show how classy you are.

cheri ending

If I could Google it, would I even want to know?

turning 40 now what
If you’re like me, you get to have surgery and get reading glasses to “amp up” the power of your existing glasses.  And I’m only 5 months into being 40.

alaska white trash
I’m sorry, the correct term for me now is Washington white trash.

Signs of aging and turning 40
Number one sign:  You’re 39.

kitchen organization
Yes, what is that and where do I get some?

mermaid from Beri

I will ask for the 500th time . . . what the heck is BERI?????

cuddledud changed
They changed my life – who knew being warm 24/7 was so easy?

where did my mom put my top

If you’re old enough to Google this, you’re old enough to be in charge of your own clothes.  Hey, did my kids Google this?

kazuo kawasaki crippled
I wonder if Sarah Palin sent him a get well card.

why do we cover up baby jesus
Because in all our porcelean nativity scenes, his anatomically incorrect body would just confuse the children.

classic overreactor
What?  This came to my blog?  This whole blogosphere makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…*

cheri spooning
You gave me an idea.  My husband likes to use “forking” as a substitute for a naughty word.  The next time he does, I’m going to come back at him with, “You’re so spooning right!”

kid almost touching a bird
Not a kid from 1977 named Cheri, I guarantee you that.

my mom is my fav
Awwwwww, have my kids been Googling again?  Let me find those shirts for them . . . . .

*Okay, so I didn’t write that.  Neil Gaiman did.  But you get the point.

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You Found Me When No One Else Was Lookin’ August 15, 2009

It’s the long awaited return of YFMWNOEWL. So without further adieu . . . . . . .

cherri + partypeople
Thank you for not putting partypeople in sarcastic quotation marks of shame. The last person who did that kind of ticked me off.

renee scott mrs alaska
After my darling friend, Renee’ Scott, won Mrs. Alaska, I blogged about it. Holy heck. I got dozens of hits from people looking for her. And dozens of hits is a big deal for my little bloggie. She has her own blog now.

jammed finger picture
Must’ve been Googled by a 12 year old boy. Who really doesn’t know what that looks like?

she’s super sweet she knocks me off my feet
Why thank you!

The all caps fascinates me. Do you REALLY want a Donny Osmond Garmin voice? Or do you REALLY want to get rid of it on your Garmin?

Jackson beres and michael jackson beri
Got a bunch of these after Michael Jackson was murdered by an unscrupulous doctor died. I even tried Googling it and got nowhere.

what is the ending of cheri?
Uuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh, not so sure I want to know?

“it knocks me off my feet” means
It means you’re no longer standing up. You’re welcome.

white trash shade
It’s called a blanket, some nails and a sturdy heel of a shoe.

will memory foam mattress make me hot
I don’t know . . . on a scale of 1 – 10, how ugly are you now?

memory foam mattress making me too hot
Ahhhhh, you give the above Googler some hope.

book and giveaway and child
Hmmm, giving away a book and a child? Wow. I might be running a whole new giveaway of sorts in the near future.

“pittsburgh pirates” “entertainment book” coupon terms
What? How would I know? That’s like an entire continent away from me. Seriously Google, let’s step up the results or I might just make the switch to Bing.

can i be white and proud
You betcha’!

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You Found Me When No One Else Was Lookin’ May 21 Edition

Well, the YFMWNOEWL acronym hasn’t exactly taken off like I was hoping. Seriously. It’s only a few more letters to type than “LOL.” It’s way more inconvenient because of Qwerty, but hey, who doesn’t need a challenge?

So in order to take my mind off the fact I just threatened my son (and am deadly serious) with summer school, here’s my latest installment of what crazy Googlers do to get to my Blogger site.

what is schlemeel
I don’t know. Wasn’t that helpful? Aren’t you glad you found me?

cherri “party people”
Is the quotation mark placement meant to imply irony? Such as, Cheri is a real “party person;” she’s in bed every night by 8:00. If so, I applaud how you manage to be sarcastic even while Googling. You’re not the first sarcastic Googler I’ve attracted.

i have been tired and grumpy the past 2 days?
I bet if you ask your family or friends, they can answer this question for you in about .04 seconds. And it might be because of . . . . .

wishing and hoping, and thinking, and praying, each night
Seriously. Get some sleep. Because you’re probably the only one “wondering” if you’re grumpy.

husband suddenly grumpy
I guess your husband isn’t wondering “if” you’re grumpy. And I’m sure he’s not suddenly grumpy. I’m guessing a long, slow burn.

my 18 year old is always tired and sleepy
It’s because he’s sneaking out of the house at night and doing things that would cause you to have a stroke. Aren’t you glad you found me?

What is it? %B

whatim isit now
Oh, I get it. It’s a game. Cold, Antarctic cold.

what is sit now
Warmer . . . . . warmer . . . . . .

what is it now?
You’re burning lava hot! That wasn’t so hard, was it?

And now for Googlers with control issues. How they found me escapes me at the moment . . . .

it’s you and me and no one else
Okeydokey. {Tiptoeing away from this entry.}

i want my dog perfectly behaved
Well, Mr. or Ms. Control Freak, do I have the dog for you!! Here he/she be:

like it is just me and you and no one else around
I’m getting the heebeejeebees.

me and no one else around me
I can’t do anymore of this. Moving on . . . . .

Why God works for me?
Let me answer your question with another question. Shouldn’t you be able to answer that for yourself?

why little puppies puke
Big puppies puke, too. Take my word for it.

rawhide puppy puke
Yeah, there’s that. Then there’s anonymous plastic pieces puke, Lego puke, various parts of a stuffed animal (to include the stuffing) puke. I could go on for hours. But I won’t.

you found me when no one else was
Very existential of you. And, yes, I had to look it up, too.
ex·is·ten·tial \ˌeg-(ˌ)zisˈten(t)-shəl, ˌek-(ˌ)sis-\ 1: of, relating to, or affirming existence

griffins partyof5
Oh, oh, oh! This is a friend of mine. We knew each other in Alaska and she just stumbled accidentally on my blog through We Are THAT Family. I loved reconnecting with her. You can find my friend’s blog here.

costco coupon for memort foam matress
Memort” sounds like something out of Harry Potter. That was my only thought for this entry. Riveting, I know.

dumb things i’ve done
Again, you can’t answer this one yourself? I can.

You don’t have to have lived there for most of your life to answer this one. Talk amongst yourselves.

his appliance braces 2009

Gee, thanks. If I didn’t have self-esteem issues before, I do now.

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You Found Me When No One Else Was Lookin’

It’s been about three weeks since my last installment of YFMWNOEWL. The little entries just stack up in Statcounter. So without further ado, here ya go.

unsupervised what is it
Is is just me or is “unsupervised” completely self-explanitory? Maybe this poor Googler didn’t have an awesome 3rd grade teacher (shout out to Mrs. Romig!) who taught them about prefixes. un = not Get it?

cherri fro party people
You don’t have to make fun of my naturally curly hair. Maybe you saw me BEFORE I got my awesome new trim/thinning/un-fro-ing.

“this prayer” “works for me”
Interesting use of quotation marks. I’m thinking this person is sarcastic even when searching for something on the internet. I can respect, if not admire, that.

cheri-beri blog sot
I looked up ‘sot’ and it means habitual drunkard. Interesting since I don’t drink. Just don’t ask me about Cancun . . . . . .

what iw it now
It still cracks me up that people have to Google “what is it now.” I’m guessing because their lives are so perfect that they need someone else to provide them with “what is it now” moments. Spend a day with me. You won’t need to Google anymore.

And while I could make fun of the spelling typo in the above entry, I won’t. Why? Because just get a load of this one:

what ti it nowme is
Meh – not even going to comment. There are just too many directions I could go.

when you found me and there was no one else around me
Wouldn’t it be easy to spot someone when no one else is around them? This one is giving me bad flashbacks of high school dances . . . . .

you found me when no one else was lookin
WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOO! I knew my little blog title would soon become all the rage in the blogosphere. Well, that and it’s also a line in a Kelly Clarkson song. But I’m betting on the rage.

Obviously someone needs a massage if they Google in all caps. I hope they got it. I’m getting at least one at a spa retreat I’m going to this weekend! Mama needs a weekend off.

i survived tmi
Good for you. I have, too, but a few tmi moments from friends and relatives have left me physchologically scarred for the rest of my life. One was so bad I was tempted to Google “brain bleach.” But I didn’t. I don’t want to end up in a blog like this.

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You Found Me When No One Else Was Lookin’

And now for the second installment of “YFMWNOOEWL.” That’s not too much to remember is it? I’m sure it will soon be as popular as LOL or BTW. Just give it time. So here we go with some cringe-worthy search items that for some reason, led people to my blog.

his braces
Cost us a fortune.

“pankin” mommy
I would never advocate pankin a kid, not me, nosireeeeeeeeeee.

21 days dont seem so long i miss cheri and i wanna go home
Awwww, I’d miss me, too!

kazuo kawasaki, sugar land, texas
So now someone in Texas wants to imitate Sarah Palin. Great. This world really needs more wannabes.

beth moore put dog to sleep
People, the woman has her own blog . . . . . But I do know that she did in fact lose both of her dogs this summer, and now they have two more named Star and Geli, a border collie and German pointer respectively. And I am not a stalker.

tiffany & co’s me i we
I’m at a loss. Me i we? Is that one of those phrases if you say real fast all together you get another phrase? And if either phrase gets my hubby to buy me something else from Tiffany’s, I’m all for it.

man wearing beri t-shirts
Not to be rude or anything, but I’d run if I ever saw one.

your day probably went better than this
Yeah, it probably did. No one wants to hear about the gigantic splinter I managed to shove under my fingernail about 1/4 inch today. If only my blog was named “What is it NOW” to be cute and not as a running commentary on my life.

When I do my homework my brain hurts
That’s why I quit college. Don’t look to me to inspire yourself to greatness.

dr cheri
Huh. I thought I was the only one who referred to me as such. Obviously the above entry referring to my illustrious college career doesn’t bother this Googler.

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You Found Me When No One Else Was Lookin’

Alrighty – more blog fodder courtesy of Statcounter. If you don’t remember from this blog, Statcounter is a tracker that lets you see all sorts of stuff about your blog or website. It will also show you the words/phrases people use in search engines and ultimately land on your page. So without further ado, I give you the most recent findings:

Schlemeel, schlemazel, hasenfeffer
God bless you. Gazunheidt. You’re sooooooooo good looking. (Leave me a comment if you get that last one. If you get it, you’re awesome. Or a loser – I haven’t decided. And obviously since I know where the phrase came from, I’m on the fence about myself being awesome or a loser . . . . . )

Three Simple Rules
Are there only three? If there are, I’m sure they aren’t simple.

Cheri multiply
2 x 2 = 4, 2 x 3 = 6, 2 x 4 = 8, 2 x 5 = 10, do I need to go on?

snowed in pacific northwest mom
Man if that ain’t the truth. Nearly two weeks housebound and I still don’t think I’ve recovered. But on the upside, when else do you get to use words like “Snowmageddon” and “Snowpocalypse?”

Let me have your eyes to see, God
Sadly, this is as close as I can get . . . . .

Is this a hair problem? A delicious cake topping problem?

Warm in Alaska on LPM blog
Anytime a search links me to anything Beth Moore, it’s a good day!! (LPM is her ministry’s name – Living Proof Ministries.)

immaculate house
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . okay, now that I’ve picked myself up off the floor. I have no idea how this got to my blog. Really. My house is so far from immaculate it’s laughable.

What Shall I Put on the front of my 13th birthday invite ??
I’m completely unsure and join you in your despair over your dilemma. What shall you place on the placard to be hand delivered to your chums by your butler, Jeeves.

what my pastor means to me
I hope a lot. Mine is bombdiggity!

just want to be home snuggled up because it is so cold oh my god
What cracks me up on this one is how long it is. She must’ve been really cold and at her wits end (yes, I’m assuming it’s a woman – look at all those words!). I wonder if she used her Iphone to Google this and her little fingers were freezing while punching in so much text.

Horrible cold Washington State
People in Washington do NOT know what cold is, unless they’ve lived in Alaska. Or Minnesota. Or windy Illinois. Or one of the Dakotas.

what is the degrees at this moment
UGH! The response I wanted to type to this is so inappropriate to my new non-judgmental vow of awesomeness. It must go unsaid.

27 degrees below zero
Nose hairs freeze when you breathe in. Take my word for it.

And now, for my favorite entry in this round of “You Found Me When No One Else Was Lookin'” . . . . . . . drum roll please . . . . . . . . . . wait for it . . . . . . . .

http://www.romanians hot sexy women
As I live and breathe, this is the truth people. Some things will never cease to amaze me!

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How some people find me

I subscribe to Statcounter and they give me a little report that tells me what words or phrases people type into search engines to find me. Some of them are pretty funny. I’m so copying Dawn over at Because I Said So . . . . . . enjoy.

what is it now
I realize that’s the name of my blog . . . . . I never needed any additional help – on top of my LIFE – to get more things to yell “What is is NOW” at.

beri wait
Wait for what?

birthday party ideas 12 year old girl
I don’t have any of those yet . . . . give me a year and I’ll be wondering about that, too.

mark hall Christian “shiny plastic people”
I can’t stand “shiny plastic people.” I hope you didn’t find what you were looking for here.

I don’t know. Why don’t you check out But if you type in all caps, does Google work any faster?

my cancer is in remission
Seriously, praise God!! Praise His glorious name.

is it ok for a boy’s room to have orange valances
I think it’s okay – heck, I painted my son’s entire room orange.

cut a-lot-off hair
Is that anything like bald-now-why-am-I?

2009 calendar lpm beth moore
I can’t believe someone Googled Beth Moore and got me. I need a minute to rededicate my life. I’m so moved.

“my husband is a cop”
I’m sorry for your neurtoic lifestyle. Join me on here and we can commiserate together.

1980’s senior picture with feathers
By far my all time favorite, but I just have to wonder . . . . what the????

Yeah, it’s my name. Don’t put “dot com” after it. My name is also a porn magazine and website . . . . thankfully, it’s either not very popular or very good. I’ve never spelled my name and had someone say, “OH! Just like the porn magazine.”

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